Romeo? What a Pain!

Mercutio: Act II Scene I

Today was epic! What luck it was to run into that idiot servant of the Capulet house! I could hardly hold in my laughter when he asked if Romeo could read the guest list for the Capulet's party! It was bloody great timing actually, because I was getting annoyed with Romeo's whining again. "Rosaline this!" and "Rosaline that!" Ugh! It's enough to make a person want to puke over Romeo just to shut him up! He needs to come to his senses about women. If they don't want to be with you and, oh I don't know, they rather join a CONVENT instead, you gotta learn to give up on them and go after the next one. I mean, come on, there are PLENTY of great looking women in the world. Take Genevieve from down the street for example. Why wouldn't Romeo want to go after a piece like that for a change, instead of obsessing sickeningly over Rosaline? I mean she has looks that are enough to make a man... Anyway, as I was saying, it was bloody luck that we ran into that Capulet servant today. We found a party to crash! The Capulets were having this ball with a HUGE guest list (which we weren't on, what a shame), and Benvolio suggested that we all go to it. He told Romeo that it was a sure way to get his mind off of Rosaline. Thank God for Benvolio and his patience. When I was ready to snap Romeo's head off because of the complaining, good old Ben used his head and suggested a solution that was far more peaceful and interesting for all of us. It took a lot of coaxing for us to convince Romeo to go with us, but he eventually gave in. Before we could finally convince him though, we had to sit through more of his sickeningly phony worship of Rosaline. Not only that, but we had to listen to crap about some "ill foreboding" that Romeo had about going. He was convinced that the party was going to bring about his "untimely death" or something, and that it was all a part of some fate that was written in the stars. I swear, the only untimely death that was imminent was mine due to boredom.

So we went to the party. And let me tell you, old Ben sure does have his uncanny stokes of genius every one in a while! The party was LOADED with gorgeous babes, and not only that, it was chock full of food and wine as well. I can't really remember the party

in great detail, except that it included girls and about four glasses of the bubbly. Anyways, I pretty sure Romeo was pretty occupied (thank God), because he didn't come moaning to me even

once about Rosaline. He must have been really preoccupied, because when Benvolio and I left, we couldn't find the bastard! So of course we went looking for him, and I remember thinking that he had just run off to go and mope about. I remember laughing and calling out to him in imitation of a far more interesting Rosaline. Eventually though, old Ben and

I gave up and went home to bed with all of the other sensible people in Verona. We're just about to go and look for Romeo again. Hopefully he grew a brain and was with a chick all night instead of moping around in the woods somewhere. Oh well. We'll find out what he's up to eventually. Here we go again.